As we head into autumn this is a good time to look back over the year and re-evaluate where we are. Then see what your intentions were for the year, see if you have or haven’t done them and set new ones…
Wooooh there!!!! Stop that right now!!!
Let’s all take the pressure off this ‘to do list’ mentality.
Stop, take a breath, and read on...
When I began the year, I set intentions to follow the seasons, lean into what each season had to offer, embrace the changes and go with the weather of our lives. Enjoy the warmth of summer and embrace the cold of winter.
The winter dragged on, with what felt like a never-ending lock down number three, here in the UK, and we pulled ourselves out of the gloom into spring. Yeah! We made it!
Things started to open up, too fast for some, not quick enough for others and so we slid our way into the spring months. Skipping along quite happily, embracing warmer weather, buds on the trees, spring flowers and it really felt like a season of hope. Things were starting to heal inside us.
I had a health scare in October 2020 and had an artery spontaneously dissect. Scary, but at least it was discovered and I began my healing journey. This year was the year I was going to heal this 'anomaly' and get back on my feet. I was six, then seven, then eight months into my healing journey, getting back to things I loved like yoga, walking and moving freely.
I was able to open my business and start supporting people on their healing journeys, with mediation, massage and The Journey work, which I have loved every minute of.
Plans were being made by us all, to meet our loved ones again, and maybe travel, have holidays etc and the promise of a golden summer was just around the corner… Until it wasn’t.
The summer never really came. I remember some warm days, some so warm it was uncomfortable to be outside and then came the grey. Nature was confused. The old apple tree in my garden had most of it’s blossom blown off in high winds or heavy rain, so much so that the produce it has provided this year is small at best. I am usually giving them away, saying “here, make some home-made apple crumble” but alas that hasn’t happened.
Plans to go abroad for some were cancelled, postponed or maybe given up on. Those of us who wanted a holiday abroad resigned to this fact, but for some it meant not being able to see loved ones in other parts of the world, for even longer now. Grandchildren not met, elderly relatives waiting for that all important human connection, people who were ill being separated by distance and restrictions.
My unusual artery issue was met with a second wave. A second artery dissected, spontaneously, in June. A hospital stay and then back on the road to heal this second one began.
And yet… we all discovered the ability to adapt.
Even down to our clothing. I still wore my summer dresses, only I had another layer on underneath. I went out to an event in the rain, dressed in flip flops, a raincoat and a summer hat. I watched a ballet at The Hannah Peschar sculpture garden * which I can highly recommend for a visit. Those ballet dancers carried on, with wet costumes, slipping on the props and yet they sang and danced in the great English weather like none of it mattered (I salute you @franklyspeakingproductions)
We all sat, Pimm’s in hand, with golfing umbrellas and it seemed all the more a determined and unique performance for the weather, in spite of the weather.
The phrase ‘staycation’ entered our vocabulary like it was new? If it made some people look at the beauty around them, then bring on a new phrase I say! I had a couple of visits to the New Forrest and am lucky enough to be going on a break to Dartmouth this month. Our country truly is magnificent and if looking around us, closer to home, happened because of the restrictions, then this is a good thing to come from the limitations.
Nature goes on. Yes, it was a little confused and some flowers struggled in the rain and wind. The apple tree produced less fruit but it is still here, it has still produced some fruit. Maybe this year it was meant to rest, not to strive so much.
The apple tree has the same lesson for us, we still carried on over the last year even with the battling winds against us and rain in our hearts at times. If you’re still here, still breathing, with gratitude in your heart, you’re doing well. Be proud of yourself for this and keep smiling. You never know, we may have a sunny autumn! There is always hope, and things don’t always follow the path you thought they would, accept this as a fact.
My arteries are healing, and whilst part of me was scared and frightened for my future, I am no different to any one of us. We all have risks in our life, health risks, job risks, relationship risks. To risk is to live. I now see this as a reminder of my mortality and embrace each new day as the gift it truly is. I have been told this could make me more susceptible to it happening again or it may never happen again? I’ll let my mind rest easy with the second option, I’d rather live with hope and the best-case scenario in my heart.
I turned 50 this month and this has been a wonderful milestone. It has been made even more special as I got to celebrate with my dad who turned 80. I feel so lucky and blessed to still have both my parents in my life, fit and well. Some of us don’t have the luxury of reaching these ages, so if you do, embrace it, smile, and say I made it, I’m here, each day counts as a blessing!
So, rather than looking back, seeing what you thought may have been, what this year may have brought, what you may have achieved by now, forget all that. Throw out all intentions and your to do lists and live one day at a time, being grateful for being here, despite the weather in all its guises.
Each day is a chance for a fresh piece of paper, a fresh new adaptable outlook on life. Burn baby burn those old to do lists. One thing I've learnt this year is expect the unexpected, so be ready to put on your sunglasses this winter.
Be you, be compassionate, be kind,
Always,
Karen
* https://www.hannahpescharsculpture.com/