Life has a way of sweeping us up in a whirlwind of responsibilities; parenting, work, and countless other commitments.
Somewhere along the way, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are at your core. In the rush of daily life, you can forget the person you were before kids, careers, or life’s demands took over. If you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, you're not alone.
The good news? It’s never too late to rediscover who you are.
Coming from a mindful perspective, finding yourself is less about creating a “new you” and more about reconnecting with the deeper, authentic self that may have been set aside.
Here’s how to begin that journey;
1. Make Space for Stillness
Amid the noise of family, work, and obligations, finding moments of stillness can be life-changing. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present, without judgment. It allows you to observe your thoughts and emotions without being controlled by them. Set aside time each day, even if it’s only five minutes, to sit in quiet contemplation. This could be through meditation, breathing exercises, or simply sitting in nature.
Tip: Start small. Try sitting in silence for five minutes each morning before the house wakes up or in the evening before bed. This simple act of presence can reveal insights into your thoughts and feelings, opening a path to self-awareness.
2. Reconnect with What Brings You Joy
As life demands increase, you can often let go of the activities that used to bring you joy. Whether it’s a creative hobby, physical activity, or spending time with friends, those passions are essential pieces of who you are.
Ask yourself: What did I love doing before? or What lights me up?
Tip: Identify one thing that you once loved and commit to making time for it again. Whether it’s reading, painting, hiking, or simply having a cup of coffee in peace, nurturing your passions helps reignite your sense of self.
3. Let Go of the 'Shoulds'
Often, you can lose yourself by living according to expectations or the needs of others. We get caught up in what we “should” be doing—being the perfect parent, excelling at work, or fulfilling roles that don’t align with who we really are. Mindfulness teaches us to release these external pressures and listen to our inner voice.
Tip: When faced with decisions, big or small, pause and ask yourself, Is this what I truly want? Learning to honor your true desires helps you align your actions with your authentic self.
4. Embrace the Changing You
One of the challenges of finding yourself after life’s chaos is accepting that you are constantly evolving. You are not the same person you were before children or the same person you were when you started your career, and that’s okay. Growth and change are part of the human experience.
Tip: Practice self-compassion. Reflect on how much you’ve grown and the lessons you’ve learned from your experiences. Write down how you’ve changed in positive ways since becoming a parent or taking on new life responsibilities. Celebrate your growth as part of your journey.
5. Tune Into Your Body
The mind and body are deeply connected. Often, the stress and overwhelm we feel from life’s demands show up physically, whether it’s tension, fatigue, or restlessness. Tuning into your body through mindful movement, yoga, or simply paying attention to physical sensations can help you reconnect with yourself on a deeper level.
Tip: Take a few minutes each day to do a body scan. Sit or lie down in a quiet space and slowly bring awareness to different parts of your body, from your toes to your head. Notice where you hold tension and breathe deeply into those areas. This practice not only releases stress but can also help you become more attuned to what your body is telling you.
6. Set Boundaries and Prioritising Your Needs
Part of finding yourself again is creating the space to actually do it. That often means setting boundaries and carving out time for yourself amidst the demands of life. While it may feel selfish, remember that taking care of yourself allows you to show up more fully for others.
Tip: Start by setting small boundaries. For instance, allocate time for a weekly activity that’s just for you, whether it’s journaling, exercising, or catching up with a friend. Let your family or coworkers know that this time is non-negotiable, and protect it as you would any important appointment.
7. Journaling for Self-Discovery
Writing can be a powerful tool for reflection and rediscovery. When you’re feeling lost or uncertain, journaling helps clarify your thoughts and emotions, providing insight into what’s been overshadowed by day-to-day demands. A regular journaling practice can illuminate patterns and desires that you may not have noticed before.
Tip: Ask yourself questions like, What do I miss about my pre-kids or pre-work life? or What makes me feel alive? Write freely, without correcting yourself. The act of putting pen to paper can spark an internal dialogue that leads you back to your true self.
8. Seek Support and Community
Sometimes the path to finding yourself feels too overwhelming to tackle alone. That’s where support comes in. Surrounding yourself with people who encourage your growth and self-discovery can make a significant difference. Whether it’s a friend, a counsellor, or a coach, having someone to talk to helps you stay grounded in your journey.
Tip: Connect with others who are going through similar transitions. Sometimes, hearing someone else’s story of rediscovery can inspire your own journey. Find community, whether it’s online or in-person, where people understand and validate your experiences.
Conclusion: A Mindful Return to Self
Finding yourself after kids, work, or life’s challenges isn’t a one-time event, it’s a continuous, evolving process.
Through mindfulness, you can begin to peel back the layers and rediscover the parts of you that may have been buried under life’s demands. By making space for stillness, with meditation, reconnecting with your passions, setting boundaries, and embracing change, you create the conditions to rediscover the person you’ve always been.
Remember, it’s not about becoming someone new; it’s about returning to the essence of who you are, with all the wisdom and experience you’ve gained along the way. So take a deep breath, let go of the rush, and begin the beautiful journey back to yourself.
Go Gently,
Karen 🌿
Made me pause and take stock, thank you.